Dating women be nice be boring article pdf
Your AV is also someone the mammoth tends to ignore entirely.A strong opinion from a confident person in the outside world? But a passionate plea from your AV is largely dismissed until someone else validates it.Mammoths look around at society to figure out what they’re supposed to do, and when it becomes clear, they jump right in.Just look at any two college fraternity pictures taken ten years apart: Or all those subcultures where has one of the same three socially-acceptable advanced degrees: Sometimes, a mammoth’s focus isn’t on wider society as much as it’s on winning the approval of a Puppet Master in your life.Your Authentic Voice, somewhere in there, knows all about you.
Now this sounds like something only a traumatized second grader would think, but the weird thing, and the topic of this post, is that this lesson isn’t just limited to me and my debacle of a childhood— Grandfather, almost nothing in the world was more important than being accepted by his fellow tribe members, especially those in positions of authority.
Fitting in with those around him and pleasing those above him meant he could stay in the tribe, and about the worst nightmare he could imagine would be people in the tribe starting to whisper about how annoying or unproductive or weird he was—because if enough people disapproved of him, his ranking within the tribe would drop, and if it got really bad, he’d be kicked out altogether and left for dead.
He also knew that if he ever embarrassed himself by pursuing a girl in the tribe and being rejected, she’d tell the other girls about it—not only would he have blown his chance with that girl, but he might never have a mate at all now because every girl that would ever be in his life knew about his lame, failed attempt. Because of this, humans evolved an over-the-top obsession with what others thought of them—a craving for social approval and admiration, and a paralyzing fear of being disliked.
The mammoth’s nightmares about romantic rejection made your ancestors cautious and savvy, but in today’s world, it just makes you a coward: And don’t even get the mammoth started on the terror of artistic risks: The mammoth’s hurricane of fear of social disapproval plays a factor in most parts of most people’s lives.
It’s what makes you feel weird about going to a restaurant or a movie alone; it’s what makes parents care a little much about where their child goes to college; it’s what makes you pass up a career you’d love in favor of a more lucrative career you’re lukewarm about; it’s what makes you get married before you’re ready to a person you’re not in love with.
When we get to this toxic state in our relationship with a Puppet Master, that person’s presence hangs over our entire decision-making process and pulls the strings of our opinions and our moral voice.